Tips for Talking About Finances with Your Fiancé

By Egan on January 22, 2020

The guest list is finalized, and the countdown is on. But before you take your vows, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse to-be about finances to ensure you’re both on the same page.

Although getting married can be financially beneficial, sharing wealth — and debt — can bring up some tough conversations. Setting clear financial expectations from the start to protect both you and your partner’s assets in marriage is vital.

Bank Accounts

One of the top items to discuss prior to tying the knot is about setting up new bank accounts. This could mean creating a joint bank account or discussing the importance of keeping accounts separate. Many couples use a combination of both. For example, some couples use a joint account strictly for household expenses such as a mortgage or rent and other household bills. In addition to the joint account, some couples also utilize individual accounts for their personal spending or “fun money”.

Overall, you both just need to be in agreeance about your finances. In doing so you will be at less risk for financial infidelity, which is a real thing. Financial infidelity is secrecy or dishonesty about money with a partner. In a 2018 survey of married couples who had combined their finances, more than 40% admitted they have outright hidden cash, bills or purchases from their partners, and in some cases, even outright lied about how much they make or owe in debt. Another 40% said they had been lied to about money by their partner.

Creating a Budget

Discussing budgeting tendencies should not be skipped. One partner may be coming to the marriage having had a strict budget they adhered to for years, while the other partner may have never budgeted a day in their life. Figuring these things out up front will help eliminate disagreements later.

To start this conversation, sit down with your partner and look at your combined cash flow. Answer these questions: What debt payments will we both have? How do our incomes match up? How much can we each save? Can we find ways to combine expenses? Are there any expenses that can be eliminated completely?

Beneficiaries

Another set of decisions that will need to be made once you’re married is about insurance and estate planning. If you both are covered by a health plan through an employer, you’ll need to decide whose plan would be more beneficial. Look at things like who has the lower premiums or a wider choice of doctors. If you’re planning on birthing children, you can look at which spouse’s plan covers pregnancy.

In addition to health insurance, you’ll need to discuss life insurance options. When you’re single and don’t have children, there isn’t as much urgency when it comes to life insurance, but once you get married and/or have children, it’s advantageous to have some kind of insurance in place.

Retirement Planning

Most likely, you and your partner are coming to the marriage with a retirement account or two. Whether that be an employer-sponsored 401(k) or a traditional or Roth IRA, the two of you should discuss what you’re bringing to the marriage and how you can strategize. Be sure to keep in mind joint life expectancy, age and health differences. If your partner is 15 years older than you, planning for that inequity is extremely important.

When it comes down to it, communication is key. As long as you’re communicating with one another and being honest, becoming a couple in the eyes of the law will be much easier.

And if you’re looking for a third party to help you reach your goals as a couple, we’re here to help. Get in touch with us.